


Spies in Emotional Turmoil

by HawkeyeRules



Series: Spies AU [3]
Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: All my tags look the same, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Angst, Angst and Humor, Canonical Character Death, Discussions of Morality, Dubious Morality, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Erik is sad, F/M, Gen, Gun Violence, Gunshot Wounds, Hellfire Club, Light Angst, Manhandling, Minor Character Death, Nightmares, Past Abuse, Past Torture, Poor Erik, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, RIP Armando, Restraints, Shaw is not a good guy, Team Bonding, Team Dynamics, i don't even know anything about Darwin, if you know Erik's backstory, listen, puking, someone save these poor babies, you know what happens to him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:27:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 9,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25248406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HawkeyeRules/pseuds/HawkeyeRules
Summary: Charles Xavier and his team have yet to take on an official mission, but no one is expecting a defector from the notorious Hellfire Club to approach them. Soon, they are dragged into a mission that may be more then they were expecting.Vaguely follows the events of X-Men: First Class
Relationships: Armando Muñoz & Alex Summers, Erik Lehnsherr & Charles Xavier, Raven | Mystique & Charles Xavier, Sean Cassidy & Alex Summers, Sean Cassidy & Angel Salvadore
Series: Spies AU [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1773403
Kudos: 3





	1. Pranks and Defecting

**Author's Note:**

> comes before the events of Spies in Spandex, but one doesn't have to read them in order. Read them in whatever order your heart wants to.

“This better not be a prank, Alex,” Charles said, striding down a hallway. 

Alex looked over at him, hurt on his face. “What kind of person would prank you by bringing you to an important meeting?”

“I don’t know, maybe the same kind who would place my guns in Cool Whip?”

Alex snorted. “You have to admit, that was pretty funny.”

Charles sent him a withering glare. “You try cleaning pure sugar from your guns for three hours and we’ll see how funny you find it.”

Before Alex could respond, they reached the Director’s office and Charles opened the door.

“You asked to see us?” Charles asked.

The Director nodded, looking up from a stack of files in front of him.

“Please, sit.”

They did.

“Last week,” the Director said. “Agents Cassidy and Salvadore were approached by a man claiming to be a defector from the Hellfire Club.”

Alex gasped and Charles raised an eyebrow. 

“I thought the Hellfire Club disbanded after the Cold War,” Charles said. 

“As did every intelligence agency in the world. Apparently, we were wrong.”

“How’d he get out?” Alex asked.

“We don’t know. In all the years of hunting and chasing down the Hellfire Club, not a single person has sought us out or defected.”

Charles frowned. “A trap?”

“Maybe, or maybe this kid simply got lucky. You’re in charge of figuring out which it is, Agent Xavier.” 

Charles nodded. 

“Agent Summers, take Agents Darkholme and Munoz and find out anything you can about the Hellfire Cub.”

“Yes, sir.”

Both Alex and Charles stood and left, both of them splitting up outside the door.

“Good luck!” Alex called after Charles. 

“Keep an eye on your gun!” Charles called back. 

“Very funny!”

The detention cells were in a lower level of the building, but Charles didn’t take the elevator. He hated being stuck in a small space, especially in his line of work. 

“Morning, Charles,” the guard said when he came down. “Are you here to see our little convict?”

“He’s not a convict,” Charles sighed. “He’s defecting. There’s a difference.”

The guard raised an eyebrow, but waved him on through. 

The room was clean and sterile, with bright lights and sharp corners. Charles squinted against the light and sat down at a table, placing a pad of paper in front of him. In a moment, the door on the other side of the room opened and the guard escorted in a young man. 

The pale jumpsuit he was in only accented his sharp features and dark ginger hair. He sat down slowly, keeping his eyes on Charles the whole time. On closer examination, Charles realized the man was only a few years older than he was, but there was deep fear in his eyes.

What are you afraid of? Charles asked himself. 

The man’s posture was stiff, and he held himself with pride. But Charles noted his shaking hands that he clenched into fists and the scars on his arms that disappeared up under his shirt. 

“Hello,” Charles said. “My name is Charles Xavier.”

“Erik Lehnsherr.”

Charles smiled. “Nice to meet you, Erik. I just have a few questions I would like to ask you, if that’s alright.”

Erik nodded. “Not like there’s anything else to do.”

Placing pen to paper, Charles asked, “Where were you born, Erik?”

“Poland.”

“How old are you?”

“Twenty-four.”

“Do you have any military background?”

“No.”

Charles placed three files on the table between them. “Were any of these people targeted by the Hellfire Club?”

Erik took the files and briefly glanced inside each one, then handed them back to Charles with a nod. 

“The last one was killed by a hired gun,” Erik said. “But the first two were personal kills by members of the Club.”

“Have you killed anyone?”

Erik tensed and his jaw tightened, as did his hands. “No,” he said softly.

It was a lie. Erik was a good liar, but it didn’t come naturally, a fact betrayed by how stiff his posture went when he answered the question. He had been trained, most likely by a member of the Hellfire Club.

“Thank you for your answers,” Charles said, getting to his feet. “I will be back in a day or two with some more questions.”

He turned and left, relaxing the instant the door shut behind him. He disliked having to be so impersonal, but it was part of his job, he reminded himself. Just part of the job.


	2. Surprise, Charles!

Charles visited Erik several more times over the coming weeks, even convincing the Director to let them meet in the Agency’s cafeteria. That wasn’t his best idea, as Erik was too high-strung in a public place to really talk. And Charles discovered he was proficient as a sniper, something that only increased his dislike of open areas. Charles kept their meetings to confined places after that. 

“Well?” the Director asked when Charles delivered his report.

“He’s telling the truth, sir. Everything we’ve learned about the Hellfire Club has matched with what he’s told us.”

“So he’s honest?” 

“As much as a spy can be.”

“Good, because I’m assigning him to your team.”

Charles gripped the armrests of his seat, struggling to comprehend what the Director had just said. “Excuse me, sir?”

“You heard me, agent. I’m placing Erik under your watch. That way, he’ll be surrounded by people who can easily take care of him if he turns out to be a sleeper or double agent.” 

Charles thought back to earlier that week, when Sean, Alex, and Armando had been betting on who could chug pop the fastest and really wondered if the Director was joking or not. There was no way on earth he was serious.

“I’m serious, Agent Xavier. That kid needs somewhere to belong, and I’m thinking the Hellfire Club wasn’t the best place for him.”

“And you think here is the best fit?”

The Director nodded. “Everyone deserves a second chance, Charles. Especially those who are lost.”

“I know, sir, and I know how you feel about these things, but I haven’t completed the full screening and who knows—”

“It seems to me like you know everything you need to, Agent Xavier. Is there a problem with my order?”

Charles forced himself to relax. “No, sir.”

“Then Erik is now a part of your team. Make sure you brief them on the change so Agent Darkholme doesn’t shoot him.”

Charles nodded.

“You may go.”

Charles stopped at the door and turned back. “Sir, what do I do if he betrays us?”

“I trust you know the answer already.”

Charles nodded, swallowing hard. He didn’t know if he had it in him, but if it came down to Erik or his teammates, he knew who he would save.


	3. Meet the Family

Alex and Armando stood against the back wall, both of their arms crossed. Raven sat at a table, her gun disassembled in front of her, mouth partially opened. Sean and Angel hadn’t even looked up from their card game, and Hank was peering over the top of his computer. 

Charles could feel the questions in their gazes, but he ignored them, instead turning to Erik, who stood beside him.

“This is my team,” Charles said. “Those two are Alex Summers and Armando Munoz. Sean Cassidy and Angel Salvadore are playing cards, Hank McCoy is our tech specialist, and Raven Darkholme is our fighter.”

“And me,” Angel piped up. “I’m a fighter too!”

Alex snorted and Charles rolled his eyes. “And you.”

He glanced at Erik, noting the stiff way he held his body and his eyes moved constantly, taking everything in.

“Don’t worry about remembering our names,” Armando said, his gaze softening. “Alex can’t keep us straight either.”

“I can too!” Alex protested.

Charles coughed loudly, glancing again at Erik. He really wanted his team to be professional and cool, and not give the wrong impression. 

Everyone must have caught what he was trying to convey, because Alex and Armando stopped arguing and Hank asked, “What’s the new mission?”

“There isn’t one yet,” Charles said, placing great emphasis on each word. “We are to train and prepare like normal.”

Sean finally looked up. “Okay. Wait, does that mean the obstacle course?”

Charles smiled. “Yes, it does, Sean. Yes, it does.”


	4. Discussions of Chess And Discussions On Loyalty

The weeks sped by, even without anything to do. Charles replaced Raven as head of the training routine so he could keep an eye on Erik. But there didn’t seem to be a need. Erik was fitting in, or at least working with the team. However, he didn’t join them in their off-time, preferring to read or do something else. Charles wasn’t exactly sure.

One day, Charles went to talk to Erik about coming to the shooting range and found him sitting in his room, a chess board in front of him, frowning.

“Are you trying to spontaneously catch the wood on fire?” Charles asked.

Erik hid a flinch and Charles cursed inwardly for not knocking first, but his mouth turned up in a shadow of a smile. 

“No,” Erik replied. “I play.”

“With whom?” Charles asked, coming and standing across the board from him.

“An online forum.” Erik picked up a pawn and rolled it between his hands. “I have a pseudonym and I play against others. It was one thing the Hellfire Club let me have for myself.”

He set down the pawn with a bitter laugh.

“I play,” Charles said. “Not very well, since I haven’t had time, but I do play.”

Erik looked up at him and a real smile grew on his face. “Would you like to?”

Charles almost sat down, but reminded himself of his job at the last second. 

“Sorry, no. I actually came to see if you would join me at the shooting range. Sean and Angel need more practice and I was wondering if you could help them?”

Erik nodded. “Of course.”

Charles walked next to Erik on their way to the shooting range, trying not to imagine how easy it would be for Erik to kill him here. It was a stupid fear, given that Erik seemed to genuinely want to be here, but it was a fear nonetheless. 

Stop, he fiercely told himself. Erik is a friend, he’s defected, he’s not with them anymore. 

Sean and Angel were already at the shooting range when they got there and Raven was shooting with a pistol.

“Alright,” Charles said, clapping his hands together. “Sean and Angel, Erik will be in charge of showing you how to shoot. Listen to him.”

Sean looked concerned, but Angel flashed a winning smile and sauntered over.

“That’s great,” she said. 

Erik looked at her with something on his face. It wasn’t fear, but it definitely wasn’t the feeling Angel was going for. 

Charles glared at Angel, who glared back.

“All yours,” Charles said to Erik. “I’ll be watching if you need me.”

He propped himself against the wall and watched as Erik taught. He seemed quite comfortable with teaching. Almost too comfortable, Charles thought.

Had Erik taught someone how to shoot before? 

The thought did not sit well with Charles, but he made a mental note to look into his concerns at the next opportunity. 

“I don’t trust him.”

“Raven, you don’t trust anyone.” Charles didn’t even look at her, keeping his gaze on Erik and his agents.

“But I really don’t trust him.” Raven stepped in front of him, her hazel eyes looking yellow in the fluorescent lights. “You’re the one who’s been trained to detect conditioning in someone, not me, but I think there’s something in Erik, something that could hurt our team.”

Raven’s concerns lined up too well with Charles’ doubts and he sighed.

“I want to believe him, Raven.”

“I know you do. You’ve always wanted to heal people, to help them become better. Maybe you can do that with Erik after you make sure he’s not a sleeper.”

Charles nodded. “Yeah.”

“Charles, look me in the eyes and promise you will.”

He looked into her eyes and smiled. “I promise, Raven.”

“Good. Now, how about we run these babies through an obstacle course?”

“Sean will hate you.”

Raven shrugged. “What else is new?”

She stepped out and clapped her hands. “Obstacle course. Now!”

“It’s raining,” Sean protested.

“And do you think we’re only going to go on missions in the middle of the desert? Go! Oh, and Angel, get Alex and Armando.”

Angel nodded and Charles smiled. This was going to be fun.


	5. Team Bonding in the Rain

It was awful. The rain was coming down hard and at an angle, soaking everything in an instant. Dark clouds covered the sky and lightning was the only illumination for the course. 

“Have fun,” Charles laughed, hanging back up an awning. 

“What?” Sean said. “You should be out here with us.”

“Sean’s right,” Raven said, her red hair already plastered to her head. “You need this as much as we do.”

“Wait—” Charles started, but he got no farther than that before Erik grabbed his arm and pulled him out into the rain.

“Here,” Erik said, throwing a rain coat at him.

Charles glared at him through hair that was already plastered to his forehead. “Thanks.”

Alex and Armando were the first to go, racing and laughing as they went through the course. On the tightrope, Alex pushed Armando and as he fell, Armando grabbed Alex’s ankle, pulling him down as well.

Charles laughed with the rest, but stopped when he realized he and Erik were next. 

The course was soaking wet, like everything else. The ropes were slick and Charles had to try twice before he got a grip on them. By that point, Erik was already across the gap and moving on to the climbing wall.

“Showoff,” Charles called up once he reached the wall.

Erik didn’t reply, but smiled, his teeth white in the gloom.

Charles scrambled up the wall only to find Erik was gone. He lept to the platform below, all senses alert. He strained to hear something past the drumming rain and the beating of his heart.

Erik couldn’t have just disappeared. He had to have gone somewhere. 

All of Raven’s doubts flashed through Charles’ mind and he clenched his fists and planted his feet, ready to fight if needed. 

“There you are.”

Charles whipped around to see Angel and Raven at the top of the wall.

“What are you doing here?” Angel asked.

“I couldn’t find Erik,” Charles said, feeling a little foolish.

Raven pointed back the way they came. “He’s already done and explaining to the others what they did wrong.”

“Oh.”

“Are you okay? You look a little pale.”

“Just cold is all.”

Raven nodded, but her eyes were narrowed. 

Charles gave a little wave and quickly finished, his fingers and toes completely numb by the time he was done.

True to Raven’s word, Erik was standing next to Alex and Sean, his hands gesturing. Armando stood next to them, a smug look on his dark face.

“What’s going on?” Charles asked.

“Alex and Sean tried to sneak inside, so now Erik is giving them a lesson in moving unseen,” Armando explained, his smirk growing. 

“I hope you don’t mind,” Erik said, joining the conversation.

Charles looked over Erik’s shoulder to where Alex and Sean looked suitably chastened, and shook his head. 

“I don’t mind at all. It’ll be helpful to have another pair of eyes to keep up with everyone.”

When Angel and Raven finished the course, everyone headed inside to dry off and rest. 

There was a text waiting for Charles when he entered his room. It read: Meetroom 7. Mission. D

Charles sighed, all thoughts of a warm shower and a good book vanishing. This was bound to be a long night.


	6. Asking People Before Making a Decision is Often a Good Idea

Meeting Room 7 was full of people with security clearances Charles could only dream of. He regretted bringing Erik when the others eyed him with distrust, but decided to stick to his decision.

“What is he doing here?” a man Charles recognized as head of the CIA demanded.

“He’s a member of my team,” Charles answered calmly. “I saw no reason for him not to be here.” 

“He’s a member of the Hellfire Club!”

“Former member. And don’t you have a member of the Russian mafia in your pocket that no one seems to care about?”

The man glared at Charles, but quickly turned his attention elsewhere when the Director walked into the room. 

“Please, sit,” the Director said.

They all did, except for Erik, who stood behind Charles. He didn’t dare look back at Erik, though. He had to appear calm, in control. 

“You have all been brought here,” the Director said. “to discuss the recent information that has been brought to our attention. Agent Xavier?”

Charles started, surprised, but quickly recovered.

“Of course,” he said. “Thank you, Director. As most of you know, it was widely believed the Hellfire Club was disbanded following the end of the Cold War. However, new information has surface and we are now confident the Hellfire Club is still active, operating from the shadows.”

“How confident?” a woman asked.

“Confident enough to send Agent Xavier’s team to take them down,” the Director replied.

Charles stared at him in shock, trying to catch the Director’s eye. But he continued answering questions, just not the ones Charles wanted answered.

His team? Take down the Hellfire Club? Was the Director crazy? They hadn’t underdone a mission like this. In fact, few of them were trained in undercover espionage and even fewer were good at it.

The Director had to be crazy.

“Before they take down the Club,” the Director was saying. “Agent Xavier’s team will be spearheading an operation to get Sebastian Shaw out of Honduras.”

“Shaw?” Erik’s voice was rough and Charles could hear the carefully disguised panic. He wondered if he was the only one who could.

“Yes,” the Director said. “He’s the head of Shaw Banks, has given hundreds of dollars to charity, makes—”

“I know who he is.”

Shocked expression ringed the table at the interruption of the Director. 

“Then you know how important it is we get him back,” the Director said, a placid smile on his face.

Erik said something in a harsh tone that Charles was sure wasn’t very complimentary, then strode from the room. Charles sunk a little lower in his seat as everyone turned to stare at him, wishing the floor would swallow him up.

“Meeting adjourned,” the Director said. “Except for you, Agent Xavier. We need to talk.”

That’s it, Charles thought. I’m getting fired. I’m going to have to have some boring accounting job in the Midwest. Why did I bring Erik? This was a horrible idea!

“Agent,” the Director said once the door closed behind everyone. “I want to tell you so you can address the rest of your team that your mission is not a rescue mission.”

“Sir?”

“While Shaw has done some good things, we also have evidence he has financially backed the Hellfire Club over the years, giving them hundreds of thousands of dollars. Your actual mission is to take him under United States custody and bring him back so he can stand trial.”

Charles nodded, his mind reeling from the sudden twist in plans.

“And keep an eye on Agent Lehnsherr, would you?”

“Yes, of course, sir. I’m sorry about what happened—”

The Director waved a hand. “No need. If I can’t handle a little interruption, I need a new job.”

Charles faintly smiled. “Of course, sir.”

“Go tell your team, Agent.”

Charles nodded and left the room, his first priority to tell the rest of his team, then find Erik and make sure he was okay.


	7. Ready is a Vague Term

Telling the team was the easy part. Armando started complaining in Spanish, while Alex yelled at him to knock it off. Sean asked how on earth they would find Shaw, Angel started talking about the fashions in that part of the world, and Hank asked if he was bringing just his computer or most of his lab. Raven just nodded and said it was a good plan. 

Finding Erik was hard. Charles searched the base twice before finding him standing in an empty training room, punching and kicking a punching bag. 

“The mission isn’t to protect Shaw,” Charles said, keeping his tone sharp and businesslike. “We are tasked with bringing Shaw back and place him in United States custody, where he will face justice.”

“Dla tego człowieka nie ma wystarczającej sprawiedliwości na świecie,” Erik muttered, his words almost lost by the smack of skin on plastic.

“If you are not mentally fit for this mission,” Charles said, forcing his voice to stay hard. “Then I will have no choice but to leave you here under medical supervision.”

Erik turned to face him, throwing one last punch. Then he sighed and started to take off his gloves.

“I am fine,” he said.

Charles raised an eyebrow. 

“Really.” Erik’s face grew hard. “Just promise me one thing.”

“What?”

“Don’t let him come near me.” Erik looked at Charles, who was surprised by the fear in his eyes. “Don’t let him talk to me or touch me. If he does, I don’t know what I might do.”

“Is that a threat?”

“Just promise me, Charles.” Erik’s voice broke as he spoke and Charles realized he was truly scared. This wasn’t just some personal vengeance. This was something else. 

“Erik,” Charles said softly. “what did Shaw do to you?”

Erik flung the gloves onto a bench. “When do we leave?”

“Erik.”

“When do we leave?”

Charles sighed. “Two days. Is that enough time?”

Erik sharply nodded and left the room. 

Well, that could’ve gone better, Charles said to himself. It also could’ve been much worse.

He wasn’t sure which version he preferred.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Polish is NOT my native language, so if i need to change anything at all in any of my stories, please let me know


	8. Plane Rides and Old Hotels

Forty-eight hours later, Charles and his team were on their way to Honduras. 

It was a going to be a long flight, Charles realized right away. He had been seated next to a whining child and a Facebook addicted father. Raven and Angel were fine, as were Alex, Armando, and Sean, but Hank and Erik were seated on either side of an extremely extroverted older lady, who only talked about her cats and her knitting. 

Charles laughed to himself at the look on Erik’s face, but stopped when the child next to him started whining and his father didn’t do anything.

With a sigh, he settled in for a long flight.

Four hours and a long wait in line later, they exited the airport. 

“Alright,” Charles said the minutes they left the crowds. “Everyone knows what they’re to do?”

Everyone nodded and Alex yawned. 

“Yeah,” he said. “This’ll be easy.”

“Don’t think that,” Erik said sharply. “Don’t underestimate Shaw. He is smart and crafty. Don’t ever think you have the upper hand with him.”

“Thank you, Erik,” Charles said. He didn’t feel the need to press the point any farther, since Erik’s proclamation had been strong enough. “We meet back here in six hours. The Agency will have a plane ready to leave then and we need to have Shaw.”

Everyone nodded and split up. There were several places in the city Shaw could be held and they were dividing and conquering, trying to reach all of them. Armando and Alex, however, were going to the same places Charles and Erik were, as extra support. 

Charles and Erik walked quickly through the winding streets, the other two taking a different route. Charles’ hand was on his gun and he was surprised to find his heart was racing. This wasn’t the first mission he had every been on, but this was the first one with Erik and the first one where the stakes were real. Before, it had been more of a game. Get in, get out, make sure no one saw you. But this was the first time they were doing a serious mission, one where failure would be deadly.

And he was nervous. There were too many things that could go wrong. His mind raced through the options, noting who could make a mistake and who would be fine. The odds were too much. 

Pay attention, he sternly told himself. Don’t worry about others so much that you make the same mistakes you want to avoid. 

“Do you know if Shaw will be armed?” Charles asked Erik as they approached a run-down hotel and walked up to the door. 

Erik opened his mouth to respond, but a gunshot startled both of them and they raced inside. 

Alex was kneeling at the bottom of the stairs, clutching Armando to his chest and crying. Charles’ breath caught when he saw the blood splattering the tile floor.

“What happened?” Charles asked, rushing forwards.

“Shaw—” Alex gasped, not looking up. “We got here first—Armando said we should go in, look around—he said he’d go first—he was always better than me at reconnaissance—” Sobs wracked Alex’s words and his whole body shook. “I was supposed to go first! It was supposed to be me!”

“I’m so sorry, Alex,” Charles said, taking a deep breath and trying to hide the tears in his eyes. 

“Which way did Shaw go?” Erik said. Though his words seemed callous, his voice was soft.

“Up the stairs,” Alex said, his breathing still unsteady. “But I—I can’t—”

“Alex,” Charles said softly. “I know how you feel, but you can’t stay here. You won’t be safe. You need to come with us.”

Alex shook his head, still clinging to Armando’s body. “I can’t leave him. I can’t.”

To Charles’ complete surprise, Erik gently placed a hand on Alex’s shoulder.

“Staying here won’t bring him back,” Erik said. “He’s gone. But I don’t think Armando would want you to throw your life away. Come with us and you can get revenge for his death.”

Charles opened his mouth to protest, but stopped as Alex’s slowly, shakily, got to his feet. There would be a time to debate with Erik later. For now, though, they needed to stop Shaw.

The stairs seemed to stretch on for eternity and Charles winced as the echoes of their footsteps sounded up and down the stairwell. One would have to be deaf to not hear them coming.

And Charles wondered if that was what Shaw wanted. By choosing a building with no elevator, they were forced to use the stairs, and alert him to their presence. Everything in Charles told him to turn around, to not spring the trap, but he couldn’t see any way around it. 

At the top of the stairs was a metal fire exit, and Erik slowly pushed it open. A long hallway stretched before them, looking like every hotel in existence—numbered doors, bland carpeting, dim lighting. Charles shuddered, trying to shake off the forbidding sense of doom. 

“Split up,” Erik said. “We’ll cover more ground that way.”

Charles shook his head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Shaw’s up here somewhere. Don’t you think it would be better to face him together?”

“I think it would be best if I faced him alone,” Erik said sharply before moving off down the hall.


	9. You Can't Stop Him

Alex followed Erik without a glance at Charles. Panic was starting to creep in as Charles’ control over the situation was slipping. Both Erik and Alex were too caught up in their thoughts for vengeance to listen to reason.

Why didn’t I try to convince Alex this was a bad idea when I had the chance? Charles wondered as he followed the two. He continued to berate himself over his mistake as he checked the rooms.

“Murderer!” Alex screamed.

Charles raced towards the room he just had entered. A gunshot sounded and Alex cried out as Charles shoved open the door. 

Alex lay on the ground, clutching his arm. Shaw stood at the back of the room, his gun still extended and two guards flanking him. 

Before Charles could take another step, strong hands grabbed his upper arms and yanked his arms behind him.

“Please,” Shaw said in a conversational tone. “drop your gun.”

Charles gritted his teeth and kicked back with his leg, trying to knock his captor off balance. His foot swung into open air and he was shoved to the ground, a hand clamping around both his wrists. 

The carpet smelled of cleaning products and mold. Thankfully, Charles’ nose was only pressed to it for three second before his head was yanked up and held in place, locks of his hand gripped by thick fingers. 

Through the tears in his eyes, Charles studied Shaw. He was of average height, with brown hair that was starting to grey, and crow’s feet at his eyes. There was an aura around him that made him seem approachable, friendly even—if he hadn’t been wielding a pistol.

Then the pistol was no longer directed at Charles’ head and Shaw’s face broke into a smile.

“Erik, you came back.” 

“Yes, I came back,” Erik said, his voice low. “I came back to do what I should have done years ago.”

Shaw’s smile grew. “Oh, kleiner Erik, what do you hope to accomplish here?”

Charles tried to see Erik’s face, tried to see what he was doing, but the hand wrapped in his hair yanked his head back and Charles winced. 

“Your death.”

Shaw laughed and lowered his gun. “Of course. Haven’t you given up on all this revenge nonsense?”

“I’m going to count to three,” Erik said, his voice low, but shaky. “Then I will fire this gun.” 

“Erik!” Charles cried out. “What are you doing?”

“You broke your promise, Charles. I warned you what might happen and that I didn’t know what I might do.”

“You knew! You knew exactly what you would do!” Charles tried to move, to pulled free, to stop Erik. But the man holding him pulled his head back farther and Charles hissed in pain.

The quiet click of a gun being cocked filled the room.

Charles’ blood ran cold. No matter what Shaw did, no matter how hurt Erik was, killing him was never an option. They were supposed to bring him in, have him face justice in the United States. 

“One.”

“No! Please, Erik, no!” Charles shouted. “This isn’t the way! Don’t do this, Erik!”

“Two.”

Shaw shook his head and turned his back. “You would never fire, Erik. You never were strong enough to kill.”

Charles strained again the man restraining him, twisting and fighting, desperate to get free. On the floor, Alex had gone limp, blood dripping from his shoulder to the ground. 

“Three.”

A gunshot; Shaw twisted, fell; blood blossomed across his back. 

“Erik!” Charles screamed. 

Two more gunshots rang out, almost indistinguishable from the other. Shaw’s guards collapsed, bullet holes right over their hearts.

With a burst of energy, Charles whipped his head back and felt it connect with something hard. The hand holding his hair released and he scrambled away, breathing heavily. 

Erik was standing in the doorway, still holding the gun. Without even looking up, he shot the man holding Charles between the eyes. Charles gagged and looked away, his stomach churning. He had seen more death now than he’d ever wanted and he tried to lock the feelings away so he could deal with them later. 

Except his anger was too strong. He knelt by Alex and stripped off his jacket, tying tightly around the wound. Every word he wanted to shout at Erik seemed to burn in his mind and anger stirred in his chest. But when he glanced at Erik, at his haunted face, the naked pain in his eyes, Charles couldn’t say anything. 

Instead he stood and walked to Erik. 

“May I?” Charles asked, gesturing to the gun. 

Erik didn’t respond, his gaze locked on Shaw’s body. 

Slowly, Charles reached down and removed Erik’s fingers from the weapon and tucked it into his waistband. 

“We need to go,” Charles said, keeping his voice firm and even.

Erik barely nodded.

“Can you get Alex?”

Charles watched as Erik slowly walked over to Alex and gently picked him up. His hand was on the gun the whole time, but he didn’t need to use it. The fight seemed to have left Erik.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, guys, guys, Charles has the perfect hair for grabbing! The whump potential is greatly there! Why has no one expanded on this?


	10. Broken People

None of them spoke much on the private plane ride. Charles sat alone, trying to put together what he was going to say to the Director. The most he had so far was “I’m sorry” and “Raven was right about Erik”.

Raven was silent, her and Hank tending to Alex’s wounds. Alex still refused to talk to anyone, instead staring out the window, his face white with pain and something much deeper. Sean and Angel were huddled near the front and Charles could hear their nervous whispers.

And Erik sat in the back, three rows behind Charles. He thought he had heard a muffled sob, but it was so faint Charles wondered if he was imagining it. 

The plane touched down far too soon and Charles was the first one off. He had to get out, to breathe fresh air, get away from everyone else. 

He staggered into the Agency’s personal terminal and barely made it to the bathroom before puking. He heaved several times before the nausea passed and he shakily left the terminal. Raven looked at him with concern when he rejoined their team, but he shook his head.

It was a subdued group that filed through the Agency’s halls and slowly splintered off. Sean and Angel took Alex to the hospital, while Hank went back to his lab.

“Raven,” Charles said. “I have to give the Director my report, but I’ll come home right after.”

She nodded and gave Erik a sharp glare before leaving.

“This is something I have to do alone,” Charles said. It was as if his words were coming from someone else’s mouth, how hard and uncompassionate they sounded. “Get some rest.”

Erik wouldn’t meet his gaze and guilt crept into Charles’ heart as he turned away. He walked away with brisk strides, refusing to look back.


	11. Blurring of Lines

Despite the late—or rather, early—hour, the Director was sitting in his office, not looking tired at all.

“Agent Xavier,” he said.

“Sir.” Charles sank into a chair across from him, resisting the urge to close his eyes.

“Where’s Shaw?”

All the carefully crafted arguments tumbled out of Charles’ mouth in a jumbled mess. The Director waited with a barely concealed smile while Charles fought to sort his thoughts into a pattern. He could feel his ears heating up and wished he could just get this debriefing over with so he could sleep.

“I’m going to stop you,” the Director said, holding up a hand. His voice softened. “It’s been a long day, hasn’t it?”

Charles could only nod.

“What happened?”

Charles took a deep breath and started to tell the Director just the facts, but what came out was, “Erik betrayed us.”

He inwardly cursed. His stupid mind, which he had trained over the years to hide emotions and detect them in others, seemed to have malfunctioned at the worst time. But the Director didn’t look shocked. Instead, he just nodded.

“Why?”

“Pardon me?”

“Why did Erik betray you? And was it a true betrayal?”

Charles thought for a moment. “I don’t know. He killed Shaw—”

“How was that betrayal?”

“I thought he knew what the mission was. He undermined my authority and ruined our mission without telling me and risked everyone’s lives for petty revenge.”

“Was it petty? You and I have both seen Erik’s anger towards Shaw. Do you even know what transpired between the two of them?”

Charles had to shake his head. “No. Maybe. I don’t know.”

The Director softly smiled. “I’ll hear the facts, then I want you to sleep, then I want you to talk to Erik.”

Charles jerked up his head. “You’re not kicking him out?”

“While he did go off-mission and killed someone, I see no reason to.”

“He killed Shaw!”

“We’ve all killed, Charles. That’s just the nature of this job.”

“There has to be a better way,” Charles mumbled.

“Now is not the time. Just give me the report.”

Charles did, his mind stumbling through the events of the last day on autopilot. He blearily stumbled down the hallways when the meeting was finished, but didn’t make it outside. Instead, he collapsed in the nearest dorm room he could find and was asleep the instant his head hit the pillow.


	12. Hard Discussions And Everyone Actually Talks About Their Feelings

Charles slowly came out of sleep confused. This wasn’t his bed and his pillow definitely wasn’t this lumpy. There was no headache that followed a hangover, so he hadn’t done anything stupid or irreversible.

Then everything that had happened came rushing back and he sat up with a gasp. And screamed.

Erik was sitting on another bunk, watching him.

“Erik!” Charles said, one hand over his now-racing heart. “What are you doing?”

Erik lowered his head. “I just wanted to make sure you were alright and . . . and apologize for yesterday.”

Charles swung his legs over the edge of the bed and faced Erik. All the anger from last night had burned away, leaving him tired and ready to listen.

“Lots of things went wrong, some of them not on you,” Charles said slowly. “but I accept your apology.”

Erik looked relieved, but he didn’t move. Charles shifted, feeling uncomfortable as he gathered courage to ask Erik about Shaw.

“Just ask,” Erik sighed.

“I’m that obvious?”

Erik shook his head. “Not to others. You hide your emotions well, but I notice.”

Charles ruefully smiled. “It’s my job to hide them.”

“Doesn’t it get hard? Trying to keep everything locked away?”

“You could say the same thing about what you’ve hidden. Erik, you had a reason for killing Shaw. Will you tell me why?”

“Would you like to know?” Erik looked directly in Charles’ eyes. “Would you sit here and listen to everything that has happened to me, without getting sick or looking at me in hate?”

“I won’t. Something horrible happened to you, Erik, and if you’re willing, I would like to help you.”

There was several moments of silence in which Charles wondered if he had overstepped his bounds before Erik spoke.

“I was born in Poland,” Erik said, taking a deep breath. “but the streets were my home. I was very young when Shaw found me, took me in, made me part of the Hellfire Club.” As he spoke, Charles noticed Erik traced a scar on his left arm that was long and straight and old. 

“I wasn’t what he wanted.” His voice was low now, haunted. “So he started to . . . remake me into the weapon he wanted. I couldn’t leave, no matter what happened. He said I owed him for saving my life.”

Then what came tumbling out next was a horrific story of things that should’ve never happened to anyone, let alone a child. Charles could only sit with a hand over his mouth as Erik talked, his voice monotone and disjointed, like he was reading from a script. 

When he finished, silence descended over the room. Charles struggled to work through everything he had just learned and concluded that maybe Shaw did deserve death. That fact still did not justify Erik’s cold-blooded killing of him. If anything, Shaw should have come back, faced trial, and paid for his crimes there, with Erik as witness.

Charles told Erik so and he bitterly laughed.

“You think there’s a jury here that would put Shaw behind bars? Most of the politicians in this country were in his pocket, including Senator Kelly and his forerunner.”

“I had no idea.”

“No one did.” Erik met Charles’ gaze. “So, do you now think of me as a monster, something to be feared?”

Charles thought for a moment, trying to figure out what exactly he now thought of Erik.

“I think you are very brave,” Charles finally said. “And very strong to have gone through what you went through. You are not a monster, Erik. You are not what Shaw made you to be.”

“No!” Erik said, standing. “That’s the point, Charles! When I shot Shaw—when I killed him—I became exactly what he wanted me to be! He said that one day I would replace him as head of the Hellfire Club. That happened when I shot him.”

“And will you?” Charles asked.

“Will I what?”

“Will you replace Shaw?”

“No, of course not!”

Charles softly smiled. “Then I see nothing to fear, Erik. By choosing to not do what Shaw wanted for you, you have already proven you are free. You don’t have to listen to his voice any longer.”

“You don’t know,” Erik said, but his voice was softer now, the rage gone.

“You’re right. I have no idea what you went through, but I do know I can help you.” Charles leaned forwards. “You are not alone, Erik. You are never alone.”

“Thank you, Charles. And I mean that sincerely.” 

There was silence for a moment before Charles stood.

“What is there is to eat around here?”

“I’ve already had breakfast,” Erik replied.

“I haven’t.” As if on cue, Charles’ stomach growled. “Is there anything good?”

“Bricks of oatmeal.”

“That . . . you know what, anything sounds good to me right now.” 

Erik laughed and Charles walked from the room, a warm feeling in his stomach.


	13. Where Do We Go From Here?

It wasn’t a conscious decision, Charles staying at the Agency, just one that felt right at the time. The team was still reeling from Armando’s death and needed someone to keep them together. 

It was going to be a long road, Charles kept telling himself and some days he swallowed the fact easier than others. Every night he could hear Alex crying from the other end of the dorm room and some nights Sean wouldn’t sleep at all. But it was Erik Charles was most worried about.

Since his run-in with Shaw, Erik had become distant and withdrawn. Any attempts at communication were brushed aside and he stopped doing activities with the team. Charles was worried that Erik would insist on going through this on his own when he didn’t need to and when he shouldn’t. 

Finally, his worry was overwhelming and he knocked on the door to the room Erik shared with Hank. 

“Erik, are you alright?”

“Yes,” Erik responded, his voice hard.

“Can I come in?”

“If you want.”

Charles opened the door and stepped inside.

“Do you want me to close the door?” he asked, keeping his voice low and calm. 

Erik shrugged and didn’t look at him. Charles inwardly sighed and left the door open a crack. 

His gaze fell on a chess board neatly laid on a side table and nodded towards it.

“You want to play?”

Erik lifted his head. “Why not?”

Erik was sitting on the edge of his bed, so Charles pulled the table over and sat in a desk chair across from him.

“Have you decided to stay?” Charles asked, picking up a white knight and rolling it in his hands.

“I’m not sure,” Erik responded, picking up a black king. 

“You would be welcome here.”

“I know.”

“Where would you go?”

Erik placed down the king and leaned back. “I don’t know. I’ve always wanted to go back to Poland.”

Charles looked up in surprise. “But that’s so far away.”

“Don’t worry,” Erik laughed. “I’d come back.”

“So you’re staying?”

“I might as well. I have nowhere else to go, and no one to play chess with me.”

Charles smiled. “You’re really going to stay?”

“Not if you keep asking me.”

“Sorry.” Charles put down the knight and looked at Erik. “You start.”

Erik smiled and moved his pawn.


	14. Beware the Darkness

They played late into the night. Charles won, but lost many of his pieces before he trapped Erik’s king. They said goodnight, then Charles left Erik’s room. Adrenaline was coursing through his veins from his win, and Charles knew from experience it would be several hours before he would feel tired.

So he walked to the gym and slid his access card in the slot. The light turned green and he pushed the door open. Inside, the gym was dark, the equipment lit with the red light from the exit sign. Charles stepped inside the room, hearing his pulse beat in his ears. He quickly turned on the lights and started lifting weights, trying to dispel the feeling that someone was watching him.

When he was exhausted and knew he would actually sleep, he turned off the lights and quickly shut the door behind him. 

The hallways seemed darker now and his footsteps echoed on the polished floors. Charles told himself it was just a trick of his imagination, that there was only one set of footsteps, but he couldn’t help hearing a mocking echo. His steps quickened and he fought to keep from looking over his shoulder.

Charles breathed a sigh when he saw Erik’s door just up ahead. It was only two more doors till his room. 

Almost made it, almost made it.

Then a scream sounded and Charles jumped. His heart raced so hard he thought it would give out and his ears strained for any other sound.

Another scream tore through the stillness, muffled, but loud enough that Charles could still hear the pain. It was coming from Erik’s room.

“Erik?” Charles asked, knocking on his door. “Erik, can I come in?”

There was no response and Charles tried the door. It was unlocked, so he slowly turned the knob and opened the door. 

Erik was tucked into farthest corner of the room, blankets wrapped around him in a nest. His teeth were clenched and his whole body was tense. 

“Erik,” Charles said softly, kneeling down next to him. 

It seemed to be a bad nightmare and Charles made the decision to wake Erik up.

He placed his hand on Erik’s shoulder. Erik’s eyes shot open and Charles fell backwards from a solid punch to his jaw.

He grimaced and put a hand to his jaw, trying to figure out if anything had been broken. Nothing seemed to be, but he knew he’d have a bruise in a few hours.

Erik stared at Charles, his eyes wide and gaze unfocused.

“Erik,” Charles said softly, not moving. “Erik, it’s me, Charles. You’re safe. It was just a dream.” 

Erik’s breathing slowly evened, but he still hadn’t said anything, just kept staring at Charles. Both of them stayed that way, frozen, for several long minutes.

Finally, Erik dipped his head and said, “I’m sorry for waking you.”

“I was already awake.” Charles looked closely at Erik. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Erik said sharply, getting to his feet.

Charles nodded. “Do you want to talk?”

Erik shook his head. Charles slowly stood, his jaw starting to throb, and looked at him.

Erik looked awful. His ginger hair stuck out in odd angles, his cheeks were sunken in, and there were circles under his eyes that Charles was surprised he hadn’t noticed earlier. 

“When was the last time you slept through the night?” Charles asked.

“That’s none of your business,” Erik snapped.

“It is my business.” Charles stood a bit straighter. “You are part of the team I am in command of, so your welfare is my concern.”

Erik opened his mouth to say something, but the door swung open and Hank walked in, a computer balanced on his arm. 

He looked back and forth between the two of them, a surprised looked on his face.

“Um, I can come back later?” he said.

“Its fine,” Charles said, glaring at Erik. “I was just leaving.”

“Charles,” Erik called out right as Charles got to the door. “I’m sorry about your face.”

Charles didn’t reply, just slipped past Hank and headed towards his room.


	15. We Learn to Move On, Even When It's Hard

“I have a new mission for you,” the Director said.

It had been two months since their encounter with Shaw. Two long months where they were constantly reminded of who they had lost.

“We can’t,” Charles said. “My team isn’t ready. They haven’t had time.”

“And they will never have time.” The Director looked at Charles with understanding in his gaze. “I know how you feel and I know you don’t think they are ready. But they will never be ready if you don’t give them a push. In this line of work, people get hurt and people die. It is just something that happens and everyone should learn how to move on. 

“Your team is ready. They just need to move on.”

Charles looked down, folding his hands together.

“What if they shouldn’t have to?” he asked. “What if they need more time?”

“Time isn’t something we are guaranteed, Agent Xavier. Good people die in this line of work. You learn to grieve, yes, but also to keep moving on.”

“What am I supposed to tell Agent Summers? He won’t talk to anyone now. Armando was his closest friend.”

“Tell him what I just told you.” The Director picked up a file and opened it. “I trust you will find the words to say.” 

Charles recognized the dismissal and stood. He stalked through the long hallways, all the words he wished he had said boiling in his mind. 

He went to the dorm room where Sean and Alex where, but to his surprise, Sean wasn’t there. It was just Alex, who was shoving clothes into a duffel bag.

“Alex?” Charles asked. “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Alex snapped, shoving a shirt in with more force then necessary. “I’m leaving. Turned in my resignation this morning.”

“Alex—”

“I’m going to miss you, and Sean, and Angel, and even Hank, but I can’t stay here. I can’t work here. I need to go somewhere else.”

“Where will you go?”

“I don’t know,” Alex shrugged. He put down the duffel and sat on his bed. Charles joined him. “I was thinking I would go back home. Live with my family for a bit, find a new place to work. I know more than just spy things, you know.”

Charles nodded and placed a hand on Alex’s shoulder. “We will miss you, Alex.”

Alex nodded, his eyes shiny with tears. “I’m going to miss all of you and all the awesome things we did together, but I don’t think I can keep working here. Not if I’m going to lose more family.”

“But if you leave, you’ll lose us too.”

“At least I’ll know you’re alive.”

Alex stood and shouldered his bag. “See you around, Charles.”

Charles stood and, without any thought, pulled Alex into a hug. “Take care of yourself, would you?”

Alex hugged him back. “Yes, sir.”

Then he pulled away and walked out the door. Charles watched him leave with a deep sadness in his chest, feeling like two of his agents had been taken before their time. With a sigh, he headed to Hank and Erik’s room.

Thankfully, they were there, and so was Sean, who was sitting on Hank’s bed, bouncing a ball against the floor.

“Hey, Charles,” Sean said. “Did you hear about Alex?”

Charles nodded and Sean through the ball with a little more force. “I’m gonna miss him.”

“We all will,” Charles responded. “Do any of you know where Angel and Raven are?”

Erik and Sean shook their heads, while Hank barely acknowledged Charles at all.

“I have no idea,” Raven said from behind Charles.

“Good, you’re here,” he said.

Angel and Raven slipped past him into the already crowded room. Angel sat next to Sean, while Raven leaned against a wall.

“Why is everyone in our room?” Erik asked.

“The Director is sending us on another mission,” Charles said.

Instantly the room exploded in protests, shouts, curses. Charles held up his hands, but it was several moments before anyone quieted down.

“I know how you all feel,” he said with a pointed look at Erik. “but we can’t keep hiding from the facts forever.”

“And what facts are those?” Raven demanded.

“That Armando is gone. He’s not coming back and no amount of sitting around is going to change that.” Charles took a deep breath, the words the Director had told him coming back to him. “We need to move on. In this line of work, people get hurt and people die. It is just something that happens. We all knew what we were signing up for, and so we have no one to blame but ourselves.

“Our next mission is in two days.”

There was a long silence before Erik said, “May I speak to you?”

He grabbed Charles by the arm and spun him out into the hall, shutting the door behind them.

“Those aren’t your words,” Erik said.

“No,” Charles admitted. “They’re the Director’s words. He wants us to move on.”

“And do you believe he is right?”

Charles folded his arms and stared at the floor, trying to figure out what he believed. 

“Do you?” Erik pressed.

“I don’t know,” Charles responded. “I don’t know what I believe.”

“Well, find something. Find something and believe in it, because if you don’t have anything, you’re going to find yourself in a lot of trouble one day.”

“Like now?” Charles laughed.

“Charles, I’m serious. You need to determine if you’re going to blindly follow the Director or not, then lead us based on that decision. We won’t be a team if you don’t.”

“He’s my boss,” Charles said slowly. “I respect him and the work that he does.”

“There’s your answer then.” 

Charles looked up at Erik, whose face was perfectly blank of any emotion.

“What would you do?” Charles asked.

Erik just smiled. “Don’t you have a mission to prepare for?”

“You’ll be coming, right?”

“Someone has to watch all your backs.”

Charles smiled and held out his hand. “Welcome to Team X.”

“X?”

“Yeah, it’s just a thing I—”

“Did you seriously name this group after yourself?” 

“No! Don’t be ridiculous. That’s silly.”

“You did, didn’t you?”

“Shut up, Lehnsherr.”

“Team X. That’s the best thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Seriously. Shut it.”

“Okay, X.”

“I will murder you.”

Erik just laughed and opened the door back into the room, where the rest of the team was waiting. His team, Charles reminded himself, and he was going to take care of them; all of them.


End file.
